And then there were three—without me

Random Thought
Good news for all my non-blonde readers out there (like me), yet not to be confused by the band 4-Non Blondes—which happens to be a brilliant band that created my most very favorite karaoke song, “Was Up?”—but I digress, point being here, this week’s blog will be short.  Why, you ask? Because I just don’t have much to say. I know, shocking right? I watched last week’s show three time, and I  got nothin! I have now endured two shows without me playing hard ball, but I have to say it just doesn’t do it for me! I can’t imagine why? Hmmm—well moving on.

About those other people who are STILL on the show WITHOUT ME!
The three little houses made me think a lot about the Three Little Pigs, except in this story instead of straw, sticks, and bricks they were all made of wood. This should be a great advantage for Mark (the wood man), but unfortunately not so much. These little houses made me also think a lot about one of my all time favorite movies, Elf. I can just see Bob Newhart sitting in Meg’s little house with the festive green trimmed windows, breaking the news to Buddy the Elf that he is now on HGTV Design Star. Buddy would have been a great asset for the show and really would (pardon the pun) have given good ole Mark a run for his money with his wood laden skills! Mostly, though I reminisce about fond memories with my gals Kelly and Meg. Like the time we had tickle fights and were throwing farts in the basement of the Penthouse and then I thought about how much fun it would be to have tickle fights and throw farts in Meg’s cute little “elfin” like house—that would make for some great TV!

About those “moments on the cutting room floor”  (again)—Me.
Only advantage I can see with my reality right now is that I am sick.  No, not sick because I am no longer on the show (ok maybe a little bit of that)  and  no not  because I don’t have my own show yet (ok well maybe a little bit of that too), what I mean is I am really sick—as in upper respiratory infection! This is partly brought on by the cold front we had here in Dallas, Tx (it dropped from 110 to 95 degrees overnight—we are freezing down here) and pure exhaustion, but mostly brought on by inhaling the remnants of ground metal. Note to self: “Self, always wear a mask to protect your stinking lungs!” I have to say I love grinding metal with my new best friend artist, sculptor George Tobolowsky! He keeps trying to get rid of me with his smart ass commentary but to no avail. He is stuck with me until we finish the 13-ft. high by 12-ft long metal strap bra we are creating for breast cancer awareness month in October. This sculpting thing has really been an educational experience.  For instance, I learned the hard way that with the skill of sanding metal without a mask, comes unbelievable amounts of black snot. It is amazing how much mucus can come out of one person’s nose!  It is such a lovely sight—the edges of my nostrils glisten with Neosporin to keep my skin from bleeding and my voice, wow now that’s an interesting sound! I thought Meg had a raspy voice, but I am taking it to a whole new level!! Meg sounds like a gal who has spent the night laughing her ass off with her girlfriends, and I on the other hand sound like Froggy from The Little Rascals using a voice mutilator with a touch of Bea Arthur from And Then There’s Maude. Not a pretty sound! Good time Meg sounds like she has had a good time, AS for ME—I sound like I’ve smoked two packs of Reds for 40 years of the 44 years I have been alive! And with that I have coughed up another loogy. Luckily though I have my leopard print scarf—“always wear a busy print!” (famous words from Paul J. Williams)

About those design tits—I mean tips
As mentioned above, busy prints can camouflage just about anything—including nasty loogies!

And who said I had nothing to say?

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