ABOUT THOSE THINGS I SHOULD PROBABLY NOT DISCUSS IN A BLOG:
I‚Äôve come to the conclusion my life is surrounded by balls. I am referring to the balls that bounce. I guess that could be the other kind of balls, however, in this case, I mean the balls that come in various shapes and sizes. Yep, I‚Äôm surrounded by big balls, small balls, mushy balls, hard balls and no I do not live with a college football team. So being more specific, baseballs, la crosse balls, soccer balls, footballs, basketballs, tennis balls, all of these balls, arerolling around in my house and in my yard. It ‚Äės all about sports, sports and more sports, meaning balls, balls and more balls.
Unfortunately, I have nothing in my life that is remotely similar to the excitement of ball sports. However, I do find, having balls, metaphorically speaking, comes in handy when I find myself in a competitive situation. Other than that, tossing around a ball does nothing for me, especially in my current lifestyle. My boys, on the other hand, are completely obsessed with any kind of ball. I am convinced they‚Äôre really Golden Retrievers disguised as boys. My golden seems to have the inner dialog of, ‚ÄúWhere‚Äôs the ball? Where‚Äôs the ball? Gimme the ball. Gimme the ball, Where‚Äôs the ball? GIMME the BALL!‚ÄĚ The only difference is, my boys verbalize the above statements, while my Golden just has the look on her face speaking telepathically, ‚ÄúJust hand over the ball and no-one gets hurt.‚ÄĚ
What‚Äôs weird about the various ball sports is the language used on the sidelines.¬† For instance, ‚Äúunlucky‚ÄĚ is a Soccer term ONLY.¬† When you yell ‚ÄúUNLUCKY^‚ÄĚ to the players on the field, you have to add an upward inflection at the end of the word, so it almost sounds British. As Americans, we don‚Äôt yell at football games, ‚ÄúUNLUCKY.‚ÄĚ¬† No, it is more like, ‚ÄúGO BABY GO BABY GO!‚ÄĚ¬† I personally prefer hearing that phrase while horizontal, but that‚Äôs just me. In addition, the game of Basketball allows you to scream, ‚ÄúPRESSURE, PRESSURE!‚ÄĚ¬† This is another exclamation one could use while horizontal, turning your love life into a hot sweaty skin-to-skin sport.
In la crosse, one might yell, ‚ÄúStick up,‚ÄĚ (referring to that jock strap on a stick) and screaming out ‚ÄúRip IT.‚ÄĚ The only ‚ÄúRip it‚ÄĚ that‚Äôs familiar to me, is when someone rips one in the car, which always make makes me gag and laugh at the same time! Since I have the maturity level of a 14-year-old boy, I end up giggling while all the other adults continue using confusing terms like ‚Äúroll the crease,‚ÄĚ and ‚Äúdouble team ‚Äôem.‚ÄĚ¬† Clearly, ‚ÄúDouble team‚Äôem‚ÄĚ has a different meaning in sports from the term I learned in the 80‚Äôs.
My youngest girl does play soccer BUT she also plays violin, thank god. She is learning Suzuki style.¬† Suzuki teaches how to use numbers and letters while playing the violin. For instance, her pinky has to stretch in order to hit that ‚Äú4‚ÄĚ and she has to ‚Äúpress‚ÄĚ hard with her string fingers.¬† And on the rare occasion she hits a wrong note.¬† So, I‚Äôm thinking about trying out some of these sports terms next time she has a recital.¬† I could enthusiastically yell ‚ÄúREACH FOR THE 4! REACH FOR THE 4!‚ÄĚ And then, ‚ÄúPRESSURE, PRESSURE‚Ä¶.YES!‚ÄĚ¬† Then when she hits that stinker note, I‚Äôll say, ‚ÄúUNLUCKY.‚ÄĚ¬†I think it could really jazz up the violin recital. Eventually, we could set up a concessions stand so we can eat hot dogs and popcorn during the performance.¬†Fun right? Personally, I think this could revolutionize the world of music.
ABOUT THOSE ‚ÄúTHINGS IN LIFE THAT ALWAYS MAKE ONE BREAK A MAJOR SWEAT:‚ÄĚ When one of my sweaty kids hugs me right after a long ball game! And of course, hot flashes.
About those design tits…I mean TIPS: ¬†HOW TO DEAL WITH COLLECTED ITEMS LIKE:
- Take the signed baseballs and grid them out on your floor to make a square. 15 balls or more are preferred.
- With a level and a pencil grid out 15 individual squares on your wall, no larger than the balls themselves.
- Take 2-inch screws starting from the bottom row while working upward, screw in the first two screws to balance the baseball on.
- Continue adding screws with ball carefully balanced on screws.¬† Fill the entire space with baseballs facing out with signature showing, to cover the wall in a 5×5 square
¬†PLEASE NOTE: This technique can be used to surround the walls of a room or just simply made into an art installation. Check out my video for more specifics!