Balls to the Wall: Design Tips From Dallas’ Top Interior Designer

Design Tips From Dallas’ Top Interior Designer

ABOUT THOSE THINGS I SHOULD PROBABLY NOT DISCUSS IN A BLOG:

I’ve come to the conclusion my life is surrounded by balls. I am referring to the balls that bounce. I guess that could be the other kind of balls, however, in this case, I mean the balls that come in various shapes and sizes. Yep, I’m surrounded by big balls, small balls, mushy balls, hard balls and no I do not live with a college football team. So being more specific, baseballs, la crosse balls, soccer balls, footballs, basketballs, tennis balls, all of these balls, arerolling around in my house and in my yard. It ‘s all about sports, sports and more sports, meaning balls, balls and more balls.

Unfortunately, I have nothing in my life that is remotely similar to the excitement of ball sports. However, I do find, having balls, metaphorically speaking, comes in handy when I find myself in a competitive situation. Other than that, tossing around a ball does nothing for me, especially in my current lifestyle. My boys, on the other hand, are completely obsessed with any kind of ball. I am convinced they’re really Golden Retrievers disguised as boys. My golden seems to have the inner dialog of, “Where’s the ball? Where’s the ball? Gimme the ball. Gimme the ball, Where’s the ball? GIMME the BALL!” The only difference is, my boys verbalize the above statements, while my Golden just has the look on her face speaking telepathically, “Just hand over the ball and no-one gets hurt.”

What’s weird about the various ball sports is the language used on the sidelines.  For instance, “unlucky” is a Soccer term ONLY.  When you yell “UNLUCKY^” to the players on the field, you have to add an upward inflection at the end of the word, so it almost sounds British. As Americans, we don’t yell at football games, “UNLUCKY.”  No, it is more like, “GO BABY GO BABY GO!”  I personally prefer hearing that phrase while horizontal, but that’s just me. In addition, the game of Basketball allows you to scream, “PRESSURE, PRESSURE!”  This is another exclamation one could use while horizontal, turning your love life into a hot sweaty skin-to-skin sport.

In la crosse, one might yell, “Stick up,” (referring to that jock strap on a stick) and screaming out “Rip IT.” The only “Rip it” that’s familiar to me, is when someone rips one in the car, which always make makes me gag and laugh at the same time! Since I have the maturity level of a 14-year-old boy, I end up giggling while all the other adults continue using confusing terms like “roll the crease,” and “double team ’em.”  Clearly, “Double team’em” has a different meaning in sports from the term I learned in the 80’s.

My youngest girl does play soccer BUT she also plays violin, thank god. She is learning Suzuki style.  Suzuki teaches how to use numbers and letters while playing the violin. For instance, her pinky has to stretch in order to hit that “4” and she has to “press” hard with her string fingers.  And on the rare occasion she hits a wrong note.  So, I’m thinking about trying out some of these sports terms next time she has a recital.  I could enthusiastically yell “REACH FOR THE 4! REACH FOR THE 4!” And then, “PRESSURE, PRESSURE….YES!”  Then when she hits that stinker note, I’ll say, “UNLUCKY.” I think it could really jazz up the violin recital. Eventually, we could set up a concessions stand so we can eat hot dogs and popcorn during the performance. Fun right? Personally, I think this could revolutionize the world of music.

ABOUT THOSE “THINGS IN LIFE THAT ALWAYS MAKE ONE BREAK A MAJOR SWEAT:” When one of my sweaty kids hugs me right after a long ball game! And of course, hot flashes.

About those design tits…I mean TIPS:  HOW TO DEAL WITH COLLECTED ITEMS LIKE:

Design Tips From Dallas’ Top Interior Designer: Baseballs

  1. Take the signed baseballs and grid them out on your floor to make a square. 15 balls or more are preferred.
  2. With a level and a pencil grid out 15 individual squares on your wall, no larger than the balls themselves.
  3. Take 2-inch screws starting from the bottom row while working upward, screw in the first two screws to balance the baseball on.
  4. Continue adding screws with ball carefully balanced on screws.  Fill the entire space with baseballs facing out with signature showing, to cover the wall in a 5×5 square

 PLEASE NOTE: This technique can be used to surround the walls of a room or just simply made into an art installation. Check out my video for more specifics!